Shawnee

Her name was Siobhan. She was my 2nd cousin. When she was 3 or 4 we called her, Shawnee.

One time, when she was around 3 i think, i was teaching her how to speak. So i’d say, ” Steh-ree-ohhh…” …now you.

She’d say, ” steh-ree-ROh!

And now she’s gone. Yesterday she died. Such a waste. I should have reached out. I am remiss, and will never not blame myself. I could have tried harder.

Now all i can do is write to you about it. I’m trying to make up for lost time, and maybe trying to make myself feel better about not seeing her for so long.

She was a good person. A solid, wicked down to Earth girl who would give you the shirt off her back. I wish she thought more highly of herself…

Maybe she could have gotten help…

i love her just the same and i’m glad for our time, but it hasn’t sunk in that she won’t be back again…

Novid 19

Recently it was revealed that only 6% of the deaths listed as from Covid were actually from Covid. Called it. We all did, us free-thinkers who don’t accept the first bit of news we hear as truth. We know better. Why don’t you? It’s ok really, we want to help you. That is why we do it. This is more important than being ridiculed in public by people who have literally never even checked into the things we tell them. If any of them did, maybe they would still disagree, but the important thing is for them to listen and try to process all we are telling them. Some of us are completely fucked in regular life but we have a certain gift which is that we can see through lies and dramatic posturing for an agenda. Of course, when we say that 6% of deaths are from only Covid, we have to look at what they’re saying in the background. That doesn’t cover the deaths from other things, of victims who also did have Covid. They are clearly spinning that. The other deaths being from Covid would be irrelevant because those people would be part of that 90% of positive tests which were actually supposed to be counted as negative. See? It all goes away now.
Now it comes out that up to 90% of positive tests really should have been FALSE positive or negative…there is a difference.

Possibly Up to 90% of COVID-Positive Americans Were Not Even Contagious, Says Shock NYT Report

I learned, that in the testing process they use a procedure which amplifies the sample, so many times so they can read it properly, see the amount of risk etc., But those amplified samples were counted as dangerous, when in reality the reading would have been miniscule had they not amplified it. I heard this reported recently and it is obviously significant, because as we all told everyone, this has been a media-inspired hoax, during an election year. When you take the fact that the NY Times released the story, we all stand back like whoa…them? They’re so biased and have in the past used straight up propaganda, just happened with George Floyd. We still aren’t even sure he died. We know he ODd and was taken away in an ambulance, by men who did not look like EMTs since they were wearing the equivalent of flak jackets, on a crime scene that had nothing to do with any gun play at all. His casket was closed but only open in photos which only showed it from the rear, so we only saw the lid up from the back without ever showing him. We know better. You say that’s crass, we say that’s being careful. Truth is truth. Fact is fact. That will never change.

For all we know they could have hit him with Narcan and he lived. Witness protection??
Oh, but i’m, ” such a racist for saying something like that. What’s wrong with you? ” …
What’s not wrong with YOU? Better to have something wrong and be able to see through things that are fake, than be a dip.

So the actual number of positive cases are now reduced by so much they will need to explain why all the restrictions happened when they already knew about the amplifying process. They would have been able to predict the exponential rise in the numbers being irrelevant, and purposefully NOT count that ratio as extra but treat it as normal.
THIS, is why all of us were trying to tell everyone, let it ride for a bit before you get scared…don’t take the first reports as anything to trust, they couldn’t possibly know the results ahead of time…RIGHT??? Use your heads!
This is why you’re all fucked. And we’ve done nothing but try and help for decades. Still we’ll be called fringe conspiracy theorists. All it takes is one person to say, he’s crazy, then everyone looks at you differently. Well maybe that man is crazy for saying that without ever reading into what we’re saying and not using his intellect. Hey, go the easy route. No problem…just get the fuck out of our way.

Clearly they’re trying to spin this even further. I get it. They’re saying, even though only 6% of the deaths were from only Covid, that doesn’t mean that those people who died didn’t die of a heart attack and also have Covid. If the testing process is faulty, why count it as definite positive. You’d have ‘ maybe positives ‘ everywhere. And it’s clear that those numbers were in fact used as propaganda as much as empirical data in this media-inspired hoax…this is only one part of what the democrats, and the republicans, any of them, did. Nobody did anything while fake terrorist groups roamed the streets in what we now know was just a drill. Same as the marathon, same as most of the stuff we’ve seen. This is False Flag 2020. Think about it. Line everything up…this was/is a coup, in order to take over our own country as a test to see if we’d survive the crashed economy, terrorism, and we are failing.

90%!!! of the positive tests were actually supposed to be negative. So those amplified samples, were counted as positives and dangerous, while they were really only, positive. There is and has been a 99.9% recovery rate. So, it was a sham after all.
CALLED IT.

Know what though? We still need to keep our eyes and ears open. Just because this one is cracked wide open now, it isn’t over yet! Guaranteed, it will get just a little worse.

They will have to go forward with the ‘ re-opening ‘ processes…the New Normal. Then try to cover themselves, because you know they were all in on it. Charlie Baker, governor of Massachusetts, has had us all in a virtual lockdown, not me. Not smart people. But the plans are federal, so it isn’t stepping up and doing what he should for the state, it’s him literally reading from a syllabus, of what to expect from your semester in Hoax college…

We know now, it was a sham. It has been proven that all the numbers were shit from the beginning. We know that there wasn’t really a threat after all. It won’t matter, they’ll say well we were only trying to protect you. Our loving public. Yeah…their scapegoats more like.

This is what to expect. Even with this latest news and more to come i am sure, they will still tell you, Covid is still just as real. Just because the numbers lied consistently literally THE whole time…you can still get sick, this is real you should still be afraid.

We’ll still hear about systemic racism, which is just a fucking joke. Why is no one talking about the real issue?? Systemic CLAAAAASISMMMMM

Duh!

All these ‘ woke ‘ tards…are doing it wrong. If they want equality, they need to start going home and cleaning up their messes they just made. Them not us. I won’t help them. Now they are truly on their own. The black community is one i’ve done my best to try and help. But see, people will call me a racist because i’ll say, there’s a difference between black people and niggers. Why is that offensive? A black man would say that same thing to you. The problem is that YOU are uncomfortable. Get over it. Besides, if there was no difference, you would be saying, that blacks are niggers. That is not what i am saying so don’t put words in my mouth. Either you get it or you don’t.

I also say, blacks are the only ones who will claim racial profiling all day long, but then call each other nigger every 5 seconds.

Consider the source. Find the truth, pursue facts, and tell everyone. It is a moral obligation.

This year has been a shining example of the new ‘ nukes ‘ …psychological terrorism.

No

People are convinced i’m a dick.

They’re not wrong, but not all the time. Sometimes i’m just busy, and can’t talk on the phone. So i don’t pick it up when it rings. Then, it’s that i avoid people…yes i do. I’m just on my own schedule. I love every single person in my life. They wouldn’t be there if i didn’t. And i have ZERO problem getting rid of the ones who don’t fit anymore. But, you can’t always lend an ear.

I’m trying to sort through 40+ years of my own drama, pain, trouble, i’ve caused myself as it is. I am sorry that this whole thing is inconvenient to your own schedule…we can each budge a bit and still help each other, yes…but, on my terms. Sorry that’s the clincher. I will always care enough to help, no doubt. Ever!

But sometimes i can’t.

I learned a very valuable lesson really early in life. I might have been 12 or 13 i think. But it was Barry Manilow, talking about how it was sorta easy to manipulate him, in the past and he’d sway whether or not he wanted to. So essentially the best thing he learned was sometimes you can say, no. That helped me, in life.

…wish i’d known that when i was 9…..

Then later on when i had my head in the clouds, Nancy Reagan helped me, with 3 words. Just Say No. Brilliant!…however, we would have been much better off as a country if she had said those three famous words to Ron when he was dealing to the Contras…

Helping is timing. Timing is everything.
And, there is nothing wrong with, NOT being able to help at the time. Did that person come to you expecting a, yes? That is on them. Sounds harsh maybe, but it’s not. This just happened a couple days ago with a girl who lives where i live. She asked for help when i was right in the middle of editing some writing, crucial moment, she buzzes the door. I ignored it. It was after 8 pm, i was busy, she’ll go away. Nope…an even longer more distressed buzz the 2nd time, while my fucking skin is retreating through the pores in my bones…my chin instinctively buried itself in my left collar bone…and then, a knock at the door.

I went to it, opened it and said WHAT! She stood there………..
i said, YES? i’m busy, what is it?…….
oh, could you???? help me with my water bottle?….
silence……( daggers shooting from my eyes…) …………………………………………
i’m very busy at the moment, no i can’t help right now.
Oh, well could you do it later?
I DON’T KNOW>>>I”M BiiiiiZZZeeeeeee. Ok? Can’t it wait til tomorrow??
Well, i was hoping to get it up there tonight.
( ……………………?????????………………………) Well??? i can’t. Sorry. K?

she turns and walks up the stairs…10 minutes later is ‘ gardening ‘ with her friend right outside my fucking window. 830 pm.
So, clearly she expected a YES, before she even got there. Not my problem.
Do i feel bad? A tIIIIIny Liiiitle bit, yeah. But it is what it is. She chooses, to fill a 5 gallon big old jug, then get someone to lug it 3 flights up for her. No problem, but i said to her one time, why don’t you just get gallon jugs? Buy yourself 4 gallons of water, it’s like 5 bucks…just refill those then bring them up yourself?

Ahhh, wellll. i like using this one.
i looked away raised my eyes and said, Oh…

So, no is a good thing sometimes. Not all the time, but never be afraid to say it.

It can be quite liberating!

Just So You, kNOw 😉