9-11-’11 (written 9-11-11)
(first published October 11, 2011 at 12:29pm
i woke up today and it had been ten years, and i thought back to that day. Meghan reached over and grabbed my
hand, as the ( seemingly…) married couple jumped…holding hands. it was the most disturbingly beautiful thing i had ever seen…
Ten years since the wreckage that consumes America, even to this day.
How do you go back to class?…how to even think straight?…they sent us home.
we’re Boston. What if we’re next?…

All those people, dead. Out of the shower, crowded subway spills your coffee…fight for elevator space,
work for two hours, then….” ….ummm, why is there a plane…..oh my fucking God!!!……( CHAOS )…”
yeah, we got Bin Laden. good! nice work!!! but, what’s done is already too late.
To quote Anne Frank, of all people…” What’s done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it from happening again…”
Another, quite brilliant observation states, ” I don’t believe that the big men, the politicians and the capitalists alone are
guilty of the war. Oh no, the little man is just as guilty, otherwise the peoples of the world would’ve risen in revolt long ago
There’s in people simply an urge to destroy, an urge to kill, to murder and rage, and until all mankind, without exception
undergoes a great change, wars will be waged, everything that has been built up, cultivated, and grown will be destroyed
and disfigured, after which mankind will have to begin all over again. “
She was absolutely brilliant. What a terrible waste! How many other ‘ Annes ‘ were there, or would there have been?…
and to think, her diary was only a small indication as to the power of her writing. She should not be overlooked also as
an empassioned philosopher. Such a sweet, romantic, misunderstood woman in a girl’s body.
Speaking of sweet girls…
…ten years, back in April, since Genna went; my only reason for going to school in the first place…clean, motivated…
in need of ” no more memories…”
after english comp. 1, walking back to the main campus, i couldn’t help but wonder why everyone was running…
i checked the time…” 10:15 a.m. ” …then came Meghan…” hey!…did you hear?…”
“…no, hear what?…”
” a plane flew into the World Trade Center…”
” hahaha…like a drunk bird?…..( giddy…)…”
“…….no. like a terrorist attack. “
“…….huh? “
we went into the media center, there must have been 200 people in there…crammed in…
watching the horrifying footage we all gasped in horror, and sighed each and almost every time they repeated that footage
over and over and over and overkill. That’s when we saw these people jump out of the window way up there in the clouds…
probably the zillionth floor…and they were holding hands.
Almost as if they had become the poster-children for the post-911 era…
saying, ” just hold hands…stay together as a nation, and you’ll crash safely into the pavement. “
Thing is…i was already deathly afraid of planes…i saw a plane crash when i was 8 years old in Weymouth, MA…
i wondered that day, watching our country’s every fear and insecurity unravel before my eyes…
were any of those people afraid to fly, but stuck doing it because of their job, a dying family member on our opposite coast…
or finally escaping the nightly wrath of her abusive boyfriend, and on the way to a better life?…
and probably moments after the loving grandmother, on the way to visit her daughter and brand new baby, had reassured her
that, ” flying is a breeze…” …
then, having to die because someone else decides to stand up and scream their malcontent in front of the rest of the world…
we are a nation full of Post Traumatically Stressed, Disorderly paranoid citizens, trying to maintain some modecum of normalcy
we are a nation of strong, single-minded people of any number of races, creeds, ideals, morals, attitudes, self-sufficiency…and
we all pulled together and grabbed our bootstraps, pulling them up and bringing up a rigid middle-finger
and droppin’ a moon ( | )
For years after…even sometimes today, i would look up to the sky and expect to see the plane explode in mid-air…or crash into
a skyscraper in Boston…
funny how one person’s ideals can affect millions…even billions…just because he thinks his actions and outbursts are justified.
Bin Laden(with bullets…), Hussein(ta Claus), Hitler(i damn near killed ‘er…), Stalin(for time…)…or you…(……………….)

When i woke up today, my ears came back on, and i heard the radio broadcasting a heart, and gut-wrenching service, in tribute to
the ones who died. Their loved ones were reading their names, in somber, choking tones…
one still insistent question in my mind, and i’m sure everybody elses, is…why?
Sure, there are any number of possible reasons, from some underhanded government plot…oh, sorry it was redundant to use the
word underhanded there when i referred to the government…my bad…
nothing really makes sense though, no matter how convincing all those conspiracy theorists can be, or the way that even the facts
don’t add up right…maybe it’s just me…
a senseless sense of loss.
I had already experienced that first-hand several times before the age of twelve.
In junior high school, i was outside in the morning waiting for Dr. Levine to finally let everybody in…
when i heard someone say the singer for the Beatles died…i laughed, ” DER!!! they all sang dickhead…”…
it was John. My hero. I was 11.
just like September 11th, just like flight #11, just like Kierkegaard…
so much death in life…it seems almost better to have been miscarried, like my brother…that’s where i get my good looks from…;)
better to have died than be stuck here on this rock in the center of nothing, trying to breathe under this ocean of sadness and frustration
and failed attempts at love, life and the hirsute of pappiness…
in a land of big-headed idealists and favoritists who deem it necessary to ” guide ” our growth and reduction of actual plasma…
Raised by both sets of grandparents, i was lucky enough to have the unfortunate experience of losing them all, one by one. I say lucky
because i have become quite de-sensitized over these last years.
maybe it would have been easier for me if they’d all gone at once in a car crash…or on a plane.
Then, my Dad. That was brutal!!!…as most people know, it’s very hard to see the man you thought was invincible, crumble to the floor
under the duress of God’s heavy hand; squeezing the soul out of the very vessel He directed him to at birth.
He died while trying to improve himself…but, just like any progress, eventually you slam into a brick wall and thousands of innocent people
die as a direct result of you heeding your impetus.
What will i be writing ten years from now?…that my Mom died?…that my daughters finally live together…
will i write it, or someone in my stead because i have died and left a room full of hand-written exerpts and poems, stories and borings…
all for that hapless writer to disseminate those last pages for me, into my well-layed out plans and jots on scraps, collected effectively.
Genna should have been here today to celebrate this mournful day, by my side…
I’ve been confused, limited, choked dead since the ripe old age of 6, when some personal family-type terrorism stunted my
future…i didn’t know how to stop it. this is the same.
Every tyrant, despot, and unheard screamer are ogling my six-year-old body with every intention of breaking my innocence, with their abstract
portrait, in the shape of the latest brand of torture and promulgation…
from agitator, to FBI’s most wanted list…from Cain, to your great, great, great, great grandchild’s killer. DEATH GOES ON.
…while life still begs to flourish: nourished by the blood and hymen resistance of those trying to hold on to their youth…
now i’m 42. I’ve never seen people the same.
Juan Williams got fired for an off-hand remark, which not only made perfect sense, but was very necessary for the American
people to hear. From someone; a man whom no doubt has experienced some kind of racial tension or resistance in his lifetime, or heard stories
from his elders about how terrible the whites had treated them back in the day. To hear someone of high intelligence explain that he was only
trying to engage in ” free ” speech, struck me as a landmark in the struggle to eradicate those very same barriers, i and many others have been
trying to knock down for years upon years. His plight lent the American people the nerve to stand up for themselves and say, ” yes, i am afraid
of that man, because he looks like the other man, the one who cut-off the journalist’s head…remember him?…
Alas, most people are afraid of their own shadows. They will never find anything but, his, and my own opinion offensive…
well go fuck yourself…how’s that?
We’re never safe from someone else’s tirade: their New Year’s parade…i see a bleak future where people resort to the most senseless, cruel acts
of human atrocity, that they’ll be forever unmatched in their brutality. We see it happen right in front of our eyes, as every once and a while, someone
deems it necessary to shake the tree of liberty, as it were McVeigh’d…er, uh…con-veyed…What’s next?…
a triple suicide, in front of a child only trying to make 42, without their blown-apart faces infecting his mind…
or the girl walking home from school; fodder for the scumfuc crew of poisoned minds and acid pricks…thinking they can stick them anywhere…
it’s so unfair! She may still be the next Benazir, but she has a lot of letting go to do.
I have a hard time killing, but sometimes it’s necessary to even the keel…they’ve done nothing to me, not a thing…yet i loathe their bothersome pleas
” …please sir?…some food for our arduous plight?…and longwinded flight back to obscurity…” …
so i end up feeling bad and just scoot them along to an open window and gently swoosh them out and they move along on their way…
even a fly deserves to live.
So how is it that these murderers, idealists, these cancered thinkers can wave their hands as they jump up and down, screaming their malcontent.
Maladjusted, they demand what they will never get.
Why would anyone, Islamic, Muslim, Jewish, Christian…change their theology for anyone?…why are we trying to convert a theocracy to a democracy?
Why are we the ones who are hated?…not that we’re angels by any stretch, but there are worse, and they don’t hear anything about it…( sigh….)
…i just have to drink coffee and wear a hat… I know where i’m at…i’m the fly hovering around your afternoon snack.
Are you gonna swipe me dead, or shoosh me out into the yard. You know i’ll be back, so after a while, you won’t be so zen…and yes, you will grunt and
growl and take a swing; because my philosophy differs from yours, or my last name offends you…either way, it is your rationalle that has changed for the
worst. All i did was try to taste the crumbs of your self-important supper…

Such a nice, beautiful day. They say there are rumors of a tenth anniversary attack…
Eh, they have us so ratcheted that we’re all buying gallons of water and 27 cans of tuna…( what?…no can opener?…bummer… )
so, i’m not looking for an exploding plane when i look up today…nope, i’m just looking to be old enough to write again in 10 years…
CHEERS!!!…

---

Well, ok…11 years later now…9-11-2022

My Mom is still alive. My daughters still don’t live together but they have their own lives and now there are THREE! Grandchildren. Brendyn, Layla and Anthony. My mind has changed on a few things regarding 9/11 and what actually happened. Now that some time has passed and i had the chance to really study it. None of the given narrative was real. People were murdered so we could go into Iraq and murder innocent people there, over a lie. This was Operation Northwoods 100%, only instead of deposing Castro as originally intended in 1962 when ON was drafted, this was about imperialism and genocide. Not only did we destroy huge swaths of land and use ammunition containing depleted Uranium, and relentlessly bomb the general infrastructure in Iraq, we, meaning the USA and UN placed sanctions on them so they had no chance to rebuild all that we destroyed. We did all that, then denied them the rights to food, money, healthcare. More than a million died as a direct result of those sanctions. If ANY other country did that we would call it Genocide and swoop in to save the day. Yet somehow when we do it to someone else we’re all supposed to rally behind our John Wayne posters and learn how to shoot like him by practicing in front of the mirror…

ALL over a lie. 9/11 was our government attacking itself. And murdering its own citizens for an agenda. THAT is real. THEN they had the nerve to go and murder innocent people in Iraq, over their own lie.

( reporter to George W Bush … ) “what did Saddam Hussein have to do with 9/11? ”

( Dubya …..–sniiiiiiiiiiiifffffffiiiiiiiing… ) …..AHHHHH!!!!!…..WOO! YEAH! I LOVE COCAINE! Saddam? Nothing ”

But today in America the citizens are more focused on social media and the latest fad, more than actually looking up from their phones long enough to care.

So…nothing new 😉

see ya in another 10 or so years…like i’ll live that long!…we shall see.

In fact, maybe America won’t even live that long. The way things are going, we’ll be the other 94% Communist by then. Now we’re at 6%…and counting……